HSC has eaten my sanity

I think I'm so stressed that I've finally exploded.

I'm still sick and I couldn't sleep at all last night. I was awake all night thinking about how the HSC is in less than three months, how my HSC Japanese speaking exam is in three weeks, how the trials are in two weeks, how my English speech is due tomorrow and i don't even know if I've done it right. I'm scared that I won't get the ATAR I need to get into the course I want and every time I look at my ranks, I feel like I've disappointed myself so much. Ever since last night I keep bursting into tears and I feel like I have no-one to tell, so here I am blogging about it. I don't even know if I can present my speech tomorrow without bursting into tears and they'll probably send me off to the counsellor if I do. My parents and brother have so many expectations of me. It's just so hard not to break down.

I sometimes wonder what's the point of all this? We study hard in school and in the end we get a number. With that number we get into the course we want in university and then we study hard again to graduate. After university we search (maybe high and low) for a job to earn money. By the time we have enough money, we'll probably be old. So what's the point?

I'm pretty much losing my sanity right now. I mean, I've pretty much lost my sanity.

Have I gone completely crazy or does that look like a clown's face?